The Boiling Frog Principle Of Boundary Violation

Jaclyn said some wonderful things in her latest post at Amplify, and one in particular that I want to expand on. She wrote:

When it comes to naming sexual violence, too many of us are like frogs in a pot of slowly heating water – by the time the violation rises to the level of rape, the victim-blame has been heating around us so slowly for so long that we don’t even notice we’re boiling. And so, when an interviewer asks us if we’ve been raped, we say no, even if we’ve just described to that interviewer the details of a rape that was perpetrated against us.

What I’ve tried to tell young women — relatives and their friends, and anyone else who will listen, is that rapists test boundaries by violating them, and examining the reaction. They look for targets who don’t have the tools to set and…

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